 
Director: Corbin Timbrook
Runtime: 80 mins (minus twenty for the uninspired opening and ending credits, yaaaaawn)
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio: 4×3 (menu-16×9, go figure)
Certification: R
Buy it now on amazon.com!
A dvd menu of the cheapest quality imaginable. A poorly photoshoped image of a killer with dreadlocks. The play button is pressed. Fade to black… “But his mother said to him, ‘Your curse be on me, my son, only obey my voice and go, get them for me.’ - Genesis 27:13″ …needless to say, I was already in stitches. After more than 5 and a half minutes of credits, ToB pushes on to become an up & down thriller/slasher that is about as unique and original as a masked maniac slaughtering young, dumb, bland, big-boobed teens with a machette.
Let’s get into the plot of Tower of Blood. The story involves a masked maniac slaughtering young, dumb, bland, big-boobed teens with a machette… Continue »
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Director: John Eyres
Country: USA
Language: English
Run Time: 100 minutes
Color: Color
Certification: UK:15 / USA:PG-13
Filmed in: Sofia, Bulgaria
Buy it now on amazon.com!
I’ll get right down to the essentials on this slightly off-classic, giant monster movie. You’ll have to wait at least 50 minutes before you can safely and resoundingly begin to snicker and giggle. Before you hit that mark, there is little to roll your eyes about beyond the horrendously produced musical tracks. I have never heard a score that took me out of the moment (as monster-movie-mundane as it may be) like the background tunes of Octopus However, the laughs continuously multiply and intensify tenfold over the following thirty minutes. The movie ends on such an hilarious high-note that I nearly threw my back out while bursting with laughter. Octopus fails to provide an enormous amount of misses, but when the misses do occur, Continue »
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Directed by: Jörg Lühdorff
Runtime: Germany: 98 min / USA: 104 min
Country: Czech Republich / Germany
Language: German / English (US dvd)
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Stereo
Certification: Germany: 12 / USA:PG-13
Buy it now on amazon.com!
Sigh… Revenge of the Rats is a German-made, perfectly A-typical “Attack of the _______” thriller. The plot is as follows: Rats infest city on a garbage strike, inhabitants struggle with the disease-filled rodents. Although this movie has the advantage of instilling a bit more immediacy due to it’s realistic antagonist (aka it’s got rats instead of mutant crabs or giant rabbits), it’s only marginally better than your average straight-to-vid. If this is the first of it’s kind for you, then you’ll probably think it’s pretty darn entertaining. Because you are 11. For the rest of us who have seen this archetype many, many times, there isn’t much intrigue. But, let’s sift through the mounting heaps of garbage, avoiding the terminal rat-bites, and see what we can salvage. Continue »
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Directed by: Joe Knee
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Label: Creep FX, Maverick Platinum
Street Date: 03/06/2007
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I’ve been interested in the occult since my freshman year of high school. I find the entire mentality to be both incredibly fascinating and truly frightening. Therefore, it seems that occult themed horror flicks would be right up my alley, eh? Unfortunately, this is not the case. Every movie on the subject I’ve seen has turned out to be abrasively average, and sadly Joe Knee’s “Cult” is no different.
A group of pretty-faced college kids convince their professor to let them research a mysterious, now-defunct cult for one of their classes. They discover that the origin of the cult’s extreme power came from an ancient Chinese amulet, which the geek in me is going to lovingly refer to as the +5 Jade Amulet of Sacrifice. Continue »
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Directed by: Jon Price
Runtime: 43 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Buy it now through (5)aint Productions!
Dementia is, quite simply, about a man who is coming unglued. The circumstances with which he loses himself are made apparent through the course of the movie but obviously involve his wife and daughter, who are featured in the teaser. We see early on that Danny, who is afflicted with the titular state of mind, has a hideous scar over his heart. A poignant link to the past, it’s most likely a constant reminder of the tragedy that occurred to (or within) his family.
Dementia has the ingredients necessary to capture any independent film audience: a lead character who has sympathetic convictions, a background filled with mystery, and a raw, unhindered belief that propels his actions. He’s not a mindless, angry slasher. Our lead is torn between his past life’s sociopolitical standards, Continue »
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Directed by: Ti West
Runtime: Argentina:80 min (Mar del Plata Film Festival) / USA:80 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: UK:18 / Argentina:18
Buy ANYTHING Instead!
“An unheralded horror gem…Displays a raw talent reminscent of early George Romero and Sam Raimi.” -Fangoria
“One of the best, if not THE best horror flicks of the year.” -Bloody-Disgusting.com
“A creepy, old-fashioned 80’s sleep-over movie, with the perfect blend of blood, screams and scares.” -Eli Roth, Director of Cabin Fever
“B is for BORRRR-IIIIINNNGG.” -bisforbrains.com
Now that I have my initial childish remark out of the way, let’s get serious. Continue »
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