 
Directed by: Matthew Hastings
Writing credits: Matthew Hastings
Release Date: 30 July 2005 (USA) more
Also Known As: Bloodsuckers (Original Sci-Fi Channel Title)
MPAA: Rated R for grisly violence and gore.
Runtime: 99 min
Country: Canada
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: Philippines:PG-13 (Avid Phil) / Germany:18 (DVD) / Australia:MA / USA:R
Don’t buy it now at amazon.com
After four absolute-DUD reviews in a row (The Roost, Cult, Serum & Doomed) I had my fingers crossed that Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe would be a step in the right direction. Hell, it seemed that ANYTHING would be better than all of those atrocities combined…But I was let down once again. Ultra-big-time-SSSSIIIIGGHH.
In a bleak 2210, humans have spread themselves throughout Continue »
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Director:Michael Su
Runtime:76 mins
Screen Format: 4 X 3
MPAA Rating: N/A
Parental Warning: Strong Language, Graphic Violence/Gore
Country: USA
Sadly, you can actually buy this at Amazon.com
Nearly every time I sit down to write a new breview I get rather self–conscious and honestly a little nervous. I worry about my grammar, spelling, intro, body and conclusion. I worry about what I should focus on, what I should leave out, and what I want the end reader to “take home” with them after investing the time to read my literary effort…
But not this time. This time I’m not worried about a single thing. I am confident in knowing that I can casually spew out ANYTHING and it will have a superior thought process than Doomed.
Here’s the script: Drop 10 criminals on an island. Divide them into 5 teams. Continue »
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 Director: Lucky McKee
Runtime: 91 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: USA: R
Buy it now on amazon.com!
The year is 1965, and somewhere in New England Heather Fasulo (Agnes Bruckner) has just set fire to a tree. And why the hell not? Those cocky piles of chimney fuel just stand around thinking they’re better then everyone. It seems sensible that we should torch flora occasionally as a reminder that they’re nothing more than CO2 scrubbers for my H3, damn it. Apparently, Heather’s parents feel otherwise. Deciding that she’s a troubled teen, they do what any loving and caring parents would when faced with a problem child: they drive into the woods and pawn her off. Her painfully silent father (Bruce Campbell), and his harpy of a wife, abandon Heather at the ill-maintained Falburn Academy. The eerily austere faculty immediately take an unsettling interest in the girl, almost completely ignoring her parents. Continue »
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Directed by: Steve Franke
MPAA: Rated R for horror violence and gore, some sexuality, nudity and language.
Runtime: USA:89 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital
Certification: USA:R
Not available on Amazon.com yet.
“Brain Fluid.”
It seems like these two words being an essential part of a movie’s plot would immediately propel it into B-greatness, but this is obviously not the case. Serum is simply a Re-Animator knockoff with the feel of a daytime soap opera and a pinch of soft core porn…but without the sex.
Eddie is a down-to-earth handsome young man that just got accepted into Medical School. He is the third doctor in his family, taking after his father and his uncle, Dr. K. Speaking of Dr. K, he is currently working on a cure for cancer Continue »
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Directed by: Jörg Lühdorff
Runtime: Germany: 98 min / USA: 104 min
Country: Czech Republich / Germany
Language: German / English (US dvd)
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Stereo
Certification: Germany: 12 / USA:PG-13
Buy it now on amazon.com!
Sigh… Revenge of the Rats is a German-made, perfectly A-typical “Attack of the _______” thriller. The plot is as follows: Rats infest city on a garbage strike, inhabitants struggle with the disease-filled rodents. Although this movie has the advantage of instilling a bit more immediacy due to it’s realistic antagonist (aka it’s got rats instead of mutant crabs or giant rabbits), it’s only marginally better than your average straight-to-vid. If this is the first of it’s kind for you, then you’ll probably think it’s pretty darn entertaining. Because you are 11. For the rest of us who have seen this archetype many, many times, there isn’t much intrigue. But, let’s sift through the mounting heaps of garbage, avoiding the terminal rat-bites, and see what we can salvage. Continue »
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Directed by: Joe Knee
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Label: Creep FX, Maverick Platinum
Street Date: 03/06/2007
Buy it now at Amazon.com!
I’ve been interested in the occult since my freshman year of high school. I find the entire mentality to be both incredibly fascinating and truly frightening. Therefore, it seems that occult themed horror flicks would be right up my alley, eh? Unfortunately, this is not the case. Every movie on the subject I’ve seen has turned out to be abrasively average, and sadly Joe Knee’s “Cult” is no different.
A group of pretty-faced college kids convince their professor to let them research a mysterious, now-defunct cult for one of their classes. They discover that the origin of the cult’s extreme power came from an ancient Chinese amulet, which the geek in me is going to lovingly refer to as the +5 Jade Amulet of Sacrifice. Continue »
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