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Bad Reputation October 8th, 2007

Bad Reputation
Directed By: Jim Hemphill
Tagline: They showed her no shame…she showed them no mercy.
MPAA: Rated R for violence including rape, sexual content, language and substance abuse - all involving teens.
Runtime: USA:90 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

Buy it and burn it.

Good lord…

So Maverick Entertainment has sent me a couple flops already. First there was Cult, then Doomed and The Toybox. I fully understand that everyone makes mistakes, even distributing companies, so I decided to keep giving them a chance. But that chance is over and I’m vowing to never watch another movie from Maverick. I don’t mean to be a hater, but there’s only so much a man can take. And this man has reached his limit with Bad Reputation and Death Knows Your Name. Oh, where to begin… Continue »

Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare April 9th, 2007

Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare
Directed By: John R. Hand
Writer: John R. Hand
Runtime: USA:77 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio: 1.33
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital
Company: JRH Films

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Some movies make us laugh, some make us cry, and some simmer our brains in a skillet full of savory sensation. Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare achieves the latter, and it was one imaginative dining experience.

At this point in my reviews I typically like to give my own little rundown of the movie at hand. Discuss premise, plot, characters, actors and so on. With Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare I’m going to have to skip this part completely, because I honestly have no idea what is happening.

What I will write about instead is the overall feeling that FBN captures Continue »

Shockwave (aka A.I. Assault) January 21st, 2007

shockwave
Directed by: Jim Wynorski
Runtime: 94 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: USA:R

Buy it now on amazon.com?

I’m not going to bring the incredibly prolific 20-year history of director Jim Wynorski into the discussion, I’m simply going to address the movie as it stands (which is the way it aughta be as far as I’m concerned). That’s what B-movies are all about; disregarding well-known actors, directors, and this thing they do in movies sometimes called “acting”.

Let’s jump right in, brain first. Shockwave, or it’s more appropriate title of A.I. Assault, is a sci-fi geek’s dream upon initial inspection. It co-stars major characters from 3 different generations of the Start Trek universe, as well as Bill freakin Mumy! The setup that takes place within about 13 minutes is; robot loose on deserted island –> plane carrying another genius military robot crashes on the same Deserted Robot Island™ –> Continue »

Baby Blood January 14th, 2007

Baby Blood
Directed by: Alain Robak
AKA: The Evil Within
Runtime: 82 min
Country: France
Language: French
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby
Certification: Argentina:18 / Chile:18 / France:-12 / USA:R / West Germany:18 / Peru:18

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

I feel like I need to take a shower.

In 1990, the year of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie, The Hubble Space Telescope, The Spin Doctors and Public Enemy’s legendary “Fear of a Black Planet,” a horri-B-ly appealing piece of cinema was released. Its title: Baby Blood.

The story of this French film follows a voluptuous young woman named Yanka. She begins as a lowly performer in some off-key circus, taking all kinds of verbal and physical abuse from her manager. Out of the blue, one of the leopards is found liquidated in its cage. While Yanka is sleeping, a slimy Continue »

Gorgo June 2nd, 2006

Gorgo
Directed by Eugène Lourié
Runtime: 78 min
Country: UK
Language: English
Color: Color (Technicolor)
Sound Mix: Mono
Certification: Finland:K-12 (re-rating) / Finland:(Banned) (original rating) / Sweden:15 / UK:PG / USA:Unrated / UK:X (original rating)

Buy it now on amazon.com!

You always know that you’re in for a real treat when the first line of a film is flubbed. This is my review of the least Like Nothing I’ve Ever Seen Before film I’ve ever seen. Then again, if by “Like Nothing You’ve Ever Seen Before” they meant; “Most Like Godzilla We Could Get Away With”, then it was very much Like Nothin…. oh, you get the point.

Here we go, Gorgo (aka The Story of King-Kong as played by Godzilla). Start in with a couple of salvage dealers, Sam and Joe, on board their ship. They encounter inexplicable volcanic activity. The ship is damaged in the high waves, but luckily there is an island nearby. Our two sort-of more main characters head out to find some fresh water Continue »

Crash and Burn June 2nd, 2006

Crash and Burn
Directed by: Charles Band
Runtime: 85 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Stereo
Certification: Iceland:16 / Finland:K-16 / UK:15 (video premiere) / USA:R

Buy it now on amazon.com!

Don’t let this poster fool you, it’s not a romantic comedy. Crash and burn is a so-so little movie from the Mech-age. It combines pretty decent visual effects, a few genuine creep-out moments, and a wacko terminator-style villain. Overall though, the movie comes across as just a little too decent. If it were any worse or any better it might be worth mentioning. I must say, though, that if you aren’t a huge film-buff you might be able to enjoy this movie.

The setup of C&B is quite simple; the world is run by corporations, most notably the horribly logo-ed UNICOM, the corporations have cyborgs everywhere spying on the public, and they can be ordered to kill at any time by use of a special virus called Crash and Burn. Continue »