
| Death Knows Your Name | October 8th, 2007 |
Buy it for the sake of giving me some money through the Amazon affiliates program. The plot has something to do with a mysterious skull and a weird disease in a hospital. It’s basically a wannabe Lovecraftian story that isn’t actually based on a Lovecraft story. I’m not even going to try to explain it. Nor am I going to rip into how boring it is. Instead, here is a list of movies you should watch that did what this movie wants to, but were a B-zillion times better: Continue » Posted by corporatedemon in Breviews, Horror, Thriller, Boringest Brains, Mystery | 2 Comments
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| Bad Reputation | October 8th, 2007 |
Buy it and burn it. So Maverick Entertainment has sent me a couple flops already. First there was Cult, then Doomed and The Toybox. I fully understand that everyone makes mistakes, even distributing companies, so I decided to keep giving them a chance. But that chance is over and I’m vowing to never watch another movie from Maverick. I don’t mean to be a hater, but there’s only so much a man can take. And this man has reached his limit with Bad Reputation and Death Knows Your Name. Oh, where to begin… Continue » |
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| The Toybox | May 15th, 2007 |
Buy it now at Amazon.com! This well-executed-yet-painfully-boring flick from the UK is about a young woman that brings her new boyfriend home to meet the fam. But this isn’t just the average awkward family introduction: This chick’s family is fucking wacko to the max. That’s really the only thing I can tell is going on, though there are obviously supposed to be Continue » |
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| Sasquatch Hunters | April 14th, 2007 |
Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever buy this on amazon.com! Story: Extremely large group of people go into the woods looking for “something”. “Something” eats a lot of them. Even the worst of the worst B-monster flicks, including the ones churned out very quickly and very cheaply by more modern techniques, have at LEAST 2 storylines going on. This movie has just the one. It attempts a second by creating intrigue Continue » |
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| Doomed | March 12th, 2007 |
Sadly, you can actually buy this at Amazon.com But not this time. This time I’m not worried about a single thing. I am confident in knowing that I can casually spew out ANYTHING and it will have a superior thought process than Doomed. Here’s the script: Drop 10 criminals on an island. Divide them into 5 teams. Continue » |
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| War of the Worlds: The War to End All Wars | March 5th, 2007 |
Buy it now on amazon.com! This retelling premiered alongside 2 other War of the Worlds releases, neither of which seem to live up to the original 1953 adaptation. Both of the low budget takes share a 2.9 (at this time) on the internet movie database, and the gluttonously budgeted, holocaustly overtoned Spielberg production leveled off at a 6.7. The original has withstood the test of time and remains at a glowing 7.2. Although these numbers aren’t a definitive view of whether or not a film is well made, they do, from time to time, help me sleep better at night with the hopes that entertainment might not Continue » |
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