 
Directed By: Alvin Ecarma
Also Known As: Alvin Ecarma’s Lethal Force (USA) (promotional title)
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
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If there is one movie genre that never ceases to amaze me with sheer stupidity, it is not B-Horror…it is B-Action. Something about the muscle bound pretty boys like Jean Cleade Van Damme and the painfully persistent Steven Seagal running around killing hooligan after hooligan of multi-millionaire drug-lord after multi-millionaire drug-lord drives me bonkers. Maybe it’s just me. But one good thing came out of this relentless stream of nonsense, and that is the nearly perfect B-Action Spinoff Lethal Force.
So unlike many of my other recent reviews where I begin trash talking in the second paragraph, I am instead going to start giggling like a little school boy as I attempt to express just how bad-fucking-ass Lethal Force really is. Continue »
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Directed by: James Felix McKenney
Runtime: 83 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: B/W
Sound Mix: Stereo
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What a joy! Automatons could have easily become a refurbished parody or homage to numerous classic films and television shows from over half a century ago, but instead, it stands stably on its own two metallic, shimmying, corrugated legs.
The setup, which is told to us in a most discerning way through recorded videos being played back by The Girl, our resident robot repairer, is that the timeframe in which this story takes place, on either this planet or an entirely fictional one, only two remaining ’super-powers’ exist in the world. Each of the remaining factions has it’s own supply of monstorous mechanical soldiers, and neither appears to be giving in any time soon. Continue »
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Directed by: Alain Robak
AKA: The Evil Within
Runtime: 82 min
Country: France
Language: French
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby
Certification: Argentina:18 / Chile:18 / France:-12 / USA:R / West Germany:18 / Peru:18
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I feel like I need to take a shower.
In 1990, the year of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie, The Hubble Space Telescope, The Spin Doctors and Public Enemy’s legendary “Fear of a Black Planet,” a horri-B-ly appealing piece of cinema was released. Its title: Baby Blood.
The story of this French film follows a voluptuous young woman named Yanka. She begins as a lowly performer in some off-key circus, taking all kinds of verbal and physical abuse from her manager. Out of the blue, one of the leopards is found liquidated in its cage. While Yanka is sleeping, a slimy Continue »
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Directed by: Kevin Kangas
MPAA: Rated R for violence, some nudity and brief language.
Runtime: 106 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: USA:R
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I used to hate clowns beyond reason. I was so terrified of their unnaturally white faces and constant grins there was no possible way my parents could ever take me to the circus (which is fine by me at this point, I refuse to support circuses and zoos. Animals aren’t here for human entertainment people!). It wasn’t until I forced myself to watch Killer Klowns From Outer Space as an early teen that I was able to break myself of this fear. Yeah. Laugh at me all you want, just stating the facts.
So when I picked up Fear of Clowns, I was expecting a similar goofy, tongue in cheek flick with plenty of crazy clown antics. Instead, what I got was a Continue »
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Directed by: Roy Knyrim
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Region: Region 1
Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1
DVD Release Date: May 30, 2006
Run Time: 91 minutes
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YYYESSS. Ohhhhh yes bloody yesss. Immediately after watching the nearly unbearable bore-fest that is Beyond The Wall of Sleep (which I’m not looking forward to reviewing), I had the pleasure of viewing Cemetery Gates. I rented it on the sole basis that it starred Reggie Bannister, who plays one of my most favorite characters of all time in the spectacular Phantasm & its sequels. Little did I know that I was going to get a no-holds-barred splatteriffic creature flick with a relentless sense of humor!
A couple of animal rights activists break into a research facility to Continue »
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Directed by: Julien Magnat
MPAA: Rated R for violence/gore and language.
Runtime: 94 min
Country: France / Spain
Language: French
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital
Certification: France:-12 /
Switzerland:16 (canton of Geneva) /
Switzerland:16 (canton of Vaud) /
USA:R / Germany:16 /
Spain:13 / Italy:VM14
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Wow, was this a nice surprise. Imagine if Ultraviolet and BloodRayne would have actually developed some characters, given us some innovative scenarios, and didn’t take themselves so damn seriously and that’s exactly what you will get with the French film Bloody Mallory.
Olivia Bonamy (quite possibly the most beautiful woman in the history of the world) plays Bloody Mallory: a gun-toting, cigar-smoking, ass-kicking, Continue »
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