Directed By: Jayson Densman
Written By: Dustin LaValley
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Tagline: It’s her party….. she’ll kill if she wants to.

Buy it at Raw Dog Screaming Press

Back in 2008 Raw Dog Screaming Press published a collection of short stories called “Lowlife Underdogs” by writer/martial artist/all around badass Dustin LaValley. One of the stories in that collection is “Party Girl.” The story is a creatively written, stark, disturbing work of art that reads like a hybrid between an actual police report and lyrics by Cannibal Corpse. It’s creatively gritty, grim and ripe with all sorts of potential to be adapted to a short film. Apparently director Jayson Densman saw the same potential, and thus gave birth to his own mangled version of “Party Girl.” Read the rest of this entry »

Directed By: Richard Powell
Produced By: Zach Green
Country: Canada
Language: English
Color: Color

www.fatalpictures.com

In a flooded market of direct to dvd horror, CG blood and mainstream zombie mania it is becoming harder by the minute to find a film of genuine quality. Luckily, a needle fell out of a haystack right in front of me. Shining white and glowing like an angel. Or more appropriately, black and festering like a case of Ebola.

“Worm” is a short film from fledgling film house Fatal Pictures. However, this isn’t another YouTube quality attempt to be “edgy” by some drunken college kids with a camera phone. No, once the opening shot of “Worm” graces the screen any worries of poor production quality are quickly diminished, and things never go downhill. Read the rest of this entry »

Director: Tibor Takács
Language: English
Studio: Sony Pictures
Runtime: 86 min
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Certification: R

Buy it never on amazon.com!

A group of “Olympic” skiers are taken to a remote ski lodge by their coach in the hopes that being cut off from a wireless signal, those internets, and friends and family back home will force them to keep their minds on the slopes. However, none of them could guess that there is a military base nearby performing experiments on giant spiders, and that those spiders are now running amuck across the frozen landscape. Oh yeah, you smell that? We got ourselves a B movie!

Ice Spiders starts off with an ample amount of promise. The title alone is spectacular, and although “giant spiders” has been done, the setting and ideas are fairly unique. Also, when we’re introduced to our first sequence involving Rocky and Bob, two overeager hunters who run into Read the rest of this entry »

Directed By: Michael Oblowitz
Release Date: 18 June 2005 (USA)
Tagline: Half Man. Half Shark. Total Terror
Also Known As: Hammerhead (USA) (DVD box title), SharkMan (International: English title)
MPAA: Rated R for violence.
Runtime: 92 min / Germany:88 min (DVD version)
Country: Aruba / USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: Germany:18 / Netherlands:16 / USA:R

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Sharks have always held a special place in my heart. In fact, I have a vivid memory of the very first picture I ever drew that I was happy with: A wholesome little crayon piece detailing a shark sinking its teeth into a helpless recreational swimmer. At that moment I knew I wanted to be an artist. Read the rest of this entry »

Directed By: Randy Daudlin
Tagline: Hunger Pains have a whole new meaning….
Country: Canada
Language: English
Color: Color

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Sometimes I wish I could take a movie, chop out the excess fat, burn my own version, erase the entire experience from memory and watch it all over again. Such is the case with Randy Daudlin’s monster flick Bottom Feeder.

This almost-good creature feature begins with the story of a famous geneticist hired by a billionaire burn victim to develop a serum to regenerate dying cells. The geneticist ends up producing more theories than results, and gets an overdose of his own medicine forced into his jugular. He is thrown into the cellar of an old hospital and left to survive off nothing but rats. The side effects of his overdose make him acquire the genetic traits of his food and he begins mutating into a rather lame and not very scary looking Rat-Man. Read the rest of this entry »

Directed By: Alvin Ecarma
Also Known As: Alvin Ecarma’s Lethal Force (USA) (promotional title)
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color

BUY IT…THAT’S AN ORDER!

If there is one movie genre that never ceases to amaze me with sheer stupidity, it is not B-Horror…it is B-Action. Something about the muscle bound pretty boys like Jean Cleade Van Damme and the painfully persistent Steven Seagal running around killing hooligan after hooligan of multi-millionaire drug-lord after multi-millionaire drug-lord drives me bonkers. Maybe it’s just me. But one good thing came out of this relentless stream of nonsense, and that is the nearly perfect B-Action Spinoff Lethal Force.

So unlike many of my other recent reviews where I begin trash talking in the second paragraph, I am instead going to start giggling like a little school boy as I attempt to express just how bad-fucking-ass Lethal Force really is. Read the rest of this entry »

Directed by: Daniel De La Vega
Also Known As: Muerte conoce tu nombre, La (Argentina) (working title)
Country: Argentina
Language: English
Color: Color

Buy it for the sake of giving me some money through the Amazon affiliates program.

Death Knows Your Name is the final flick from Maverick entertainment that I will ever be watching. That’s it. No more.

The plot has something to do with a mysterious skull and a weird disease in a hospital. It’s basically a wannabe Lovecraftian story that isn’t actually based on a Lovecraft story. I’m not even going to try to explain it. Nor am I going to rip into how boring it is. Instead, here is a list of movies you should watch that did what this movie wants to, but were a B-zillion times better: Read the rest of this entry »

Directed By: Jim Hemphill
Tagline: They showed her no shame…she showed them no mercy.
MPAA: Rated R for violence including rape, sexual content, language and substance abuse – all involving teens.
Runtime: USA:90 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio: 1.85 : 1

Buy it and burn it.

Good lord…

So Maverick Entertainment has sent me a couple flops already. First there was Cult, then Doomed and The Toybox. I fully understand that everyone makes mistakes, even distributing companies, so I decided to keep giving them a chance. But that chance is over and I’m vowing to never watch another movie from Maverick. I don’t mean to be a hater, but there’s only so much a man can take. And this man has reached his limit with Bad Reputation and Death Knows Your Name. Oh, where to begin… Read the rest of this entry »

Director: Paolo Sedazzari
Runtime: UK:81 min
Country: UK
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio:
2.35 : 1 more
Sound Mix: Stereo (RCA Sound System)
Certification: UK:15
Company: Brandnew Films

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

The Toybox wants to be a serious horror movie with strong acting, cinematography and a haunting soundtrack. Quite honestly, it achieves just that. But did I enjoy it? Not in the least.

This well-executed-yet-painfully-boring flick from the UK is about a young woman that brings her new boyfriend home to meet the fam. Read the rest of this entry »

Directed by Michael Kazlo II
Runtime: 84 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Company: Archangel Productions

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Thank the b-movie gods for friendship and patience, for without these I would have never made it through Michael Kazlo II’s Bloodlust.

Maria Hunter’s parents were murdered by a vampire. After being adopted by the church, the same vampire kills her brother. Now, Maria Hunter doesn’t like vampires very much. So she picks up an UZI, reads the manual and gets to business.

Sounds simple enough, right? If only it were. Bloodlust wants to be far more expansive and dramatic than necessary for a good b-movie time. Characters are continually thrown into the mix and uninteresting dialog segments drag on in sleep-inducing excess. None of the personalities are interesting enough to maintain viewer interest. Along with the poor acting and sluggish pacing, Read the rest of this entry »