Director: Paolo Sedazzari
Runtime: UK:81 min
Country: UK
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio:
2.35 : 1 more
Sound Mix: Stereo (RCA Sound System)
Certification: UK:15
Company: Brandnew Films

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

The Toybox wants to be a serious horror movie with strong acting, cinematography and a haunting soundtrack. Quite honestly, it achieves just that. But did I enjoy it? Not in the least.

This well-executed-yet-painfully-boring flick from the UK is about a young woman that brings her new boyfriend home to meet the fam. But this isn’t just the average awkward family introduction: This chick’s family is fucking wacko to the max. That’s really the only thing I can tell is going on, though there are obviously supposed to be Continue »

Directed by Michael Kazlo II
Runtime: 84 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Company: Archangel Productions

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Thank the b-movie gods for friendship and patience, for without these I would have never made it through Michael Kazlo II’s Bloodlust.

Maria Hunter’s parents were murdered by a vampire. After being adopted by the church, the same vampire kills her brother. Now, Maria Hunter doesn’t like vampires very much. So she picks up an UZI, reads the manual and gets to business.

Sounds simple enough, right? If only it were. Bloodlust wants to be far more expansive and dramatic than necessary for a good b-movie time. Characters are continually thrown into the mix and uninteresting dialog segments drag on in sleep-inducing excess. None of the personalities are interesting enough to maintain viewer interest. Along with the poor acting and sluggish pacing, Continue »

Director: Corbin Timbrook
Runtime: 80 mins (minus twenty for the uninspired opening and ending credits, yaaaaawn)
Language: English
Color: Color
Aspect Ratio: 4×3 (menu-16×9, go figure)
Certification: R

Buy it now on amazon.com!

A dvd menu of the cheapest quality imaginable. A poorly photoshoped image of a killer with dreadlocks. The play button is pressed. Fade to black… “But his mother said to him, ‘Your curse be on me, my son, only obey my voice and go, get them for me.’ - Genesis 27:13″ …needless to say, I was already in stitches. After more than 5 and a half minutes of credits, ToB pushes on to become an up & down thriller/slasher that is about as unique and original as a masked maniac slaughtering young, dumb, bland, big-boobed teens with a machette.

Let’s get into the plot of Tower of Blood. The story involves a masked maniac slaughtering young, dumb, bland, big-boobed teens with a machette… Continue »