Directed by: Steve Cuden
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content including aberrant behavior, violence and language.
Runtime: 83 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: UK:18 / USA:R

Lucky is kind of like the weird kid that always sat in the back of the class who was never interested in talking to anyone because he was too busy drawing macabre images in his creepy black sketchbook. He wasn’t popular, not interested in being cool, and definitely wasn’t the life of the party. But if you gave him a chance and spent some time with him, you would find out that well…yeah he is out of his mind, but he also has a lot of worthwhile things to say.

Millard Mudd is a down on his luck cartoon writer that’s low on ideas, cash, and tolerable girlfriends. His house has more beer cans littered about than a frat house on the last day of school. Despite his obvious bad hygiene Continue »

Directed by: BJ Davis
Also known as: Soldier of Fortune
MPAA: Rated R for violence and brief nudity.
Runtime: 84 min
Country: USA / Germany / South Africa
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby
Certification: Australia:M / Germany:18 / USA:R

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With a title like “Laser Mission” that just screams campy sci-fi goodness, how can you possibly go wrong? Well, I guess if there aren’t any lasers it might kind of ruin things…and this movie has zero. However, the movie does have a mission: to make people like me laugh hysterically!

The plot of Laser Mission involves a stolen diamond, a kidnapped scientist, and a mercenary trying to retrieve both. At least I think that’s what just happened…on paper anyway. What really happened was some extended car chases, playground mentality gun fights, and round after round of Continue »

Directed by: Thierry Notz
Runtime: 90 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Stereo
Certification: Australia:M / UK:18 / USA:R

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I guess if someone produces hundreds and hundreds of movies it isn’t fair to assume that every single one is going to be great, or even decent. There’s bound to be a total flop in the mix at some point, and that my friend is the story of The Terror Within.

A plague has swept over mankind. A team of military scientists with modified brown thrift-store overalls (complete with id tags that list first, not last names) reside in an underground bunker. Apparently since they’re out in the middle of the Mojave desert where nobody would be anyway we’re supposed to get the feeling that they are some of the last remaining people on earth. On the surface are some vicious gargoyles…or uh…they’re actually mutated humans…No wait, they Continue »

Director: John Hayes
Runtime: UK:84 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Mono
Certification: USA:R / UK:15

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THE DEAD WILL RISE AGAIN…
…AND RIDE HORSES…

In a surrealistic horror setting, a young Preacher’s assistant goes mad and becomes lost in a fantasy of her own creation. The woman, Grace, creates a world in which her either dead or missing father is present, quite loving, and lives with her on a fabricated ranch. In her mind, Grace’s father will stop at nothing to protect his daughter’s best interests…. including murder. Stars academy award-winner Edmond O’Brien as Grace’s father.

That’s a quick summary of the plot and I dare not go in any further. In fact, the best thing i can say about this horrid piece of work is that the summary ends up sounding quite good. Avoid this movie like you would avoid a swarm of bees; if you see it on a store shelf run away screaming and flailing your arms… and then jump in a pond and use a straw to breath with until you pass out Continue »

Directed by: Barbara Peters
Also Known As:
Humanoids of the Deep, Monster, Monsters
Runtime: 80 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color (Metrocolor)
Sound Mix: Mono
Certification: West Germany:16 / Australia:MA (cable rating) / Australia:R (original rating) / France:-12 / Sweden:15 / UK:18 / USA:R / Norway:(Banned) (1980-2003) (cinema release)

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Boy am I a sucker for a good guy-in-a-suit monster flick. Especially when the guy-in-a-suit monster flick has sweet gore, a haunting soundtrack, a good sense of humor and a healthy dose of full-frontal nudity!

In a rural, fishing based town something is lurking in the very waters the population relies on. A large cannery corporation that is about to build a factory in town has released a chemical in the water. The chemical is devised to Continue »

Directed by Eugène Lourié
Runtime: 78 min
Country: UK
Language: English
Color: Color (Technicolor)
Sound Mix: Mono
Certification: Finland:K-12 (re-rating) / Finland:(Banned) (original rating) / Sweden:15 / UK:PG / USA:Unrated / UK:X (original rating)

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You always know that you’re in for a real treat when the first line of a film is flubbed. This is my review of the least Like Nothing I’ve Ever Seen Before film I’ve ever seen. Then again, if by “Like Nothing You’ve Ever Seen Before” they meant; “Most Like Godzilla We Could Get Away With”, then it was very much Like Nothin…. oh, you get the point.

Here we go, Gorgo (aka The Story of King-Kong as played by Godzilla). Start in with a couple of salvage dealers, Sam and Joe, on board their ship. They encounter inexplicable volcanic activity. The ship is damaged in the high waves, but luckily there is an island nearby. Our two sort-of more main characters head out to find some fresh water Continue »