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Blood Gnome May 31st, 2006

Blood Gnome
Directed by: John Lechago
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexual content, violence/gore and language.
Runtime: 87 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Certification: USA:R

Buy it now at amazon.com!

Thank the God I don’t even know exists for beautiful goth-girls with extensive tattoos and Bettie Page hairstyles. If this sounds like you, I’m available and would love it if you sent me a message…

Ok, time to get to business. Blood Gnome is about a Crime Scene Photographer that has plenty of work lined up for him. A recent string of bloody murders have been occurring in the local BDSM/Bloodsport underground. Through the use of an old recalled camcorder with infrared capabilities, he is the only one that is able to see who-or actually what-is causing all of the mayhem. So what is it? Why blood gnomes of course, stiff little rubber Continue »

Teenage Caveman (2002) May 30th, 2006

Teenage Caveman
Directed by: Larry Clark
MPAA: Rated R for strong sexuality, substance abuse, language, and violence - all involving teens.
Runtime: USA:90 min / USA:100 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Sound Mix: Dolby
Certification: Argentina:16 / Finland:K-18 / Germany:18 / South Korea:18 (DVD rating) / UK:18 / USA:R

Buy it now at amazon.com!

In the 24 years of my existence, a few movies have managed to truly touch my soul and offer me a new outlook on life. Most people in our culture have had the same experience, perhaps with The Breakfast Club, Forrest Gump or The Passion of the Christ. For me, it would have to be Teenage Caveman.

Begin scenario setup: It’s a post-apocalyptic future. Society has been reduced to small tribes lead by religious fanatics. The males are the dominant gender and are relied upon to provide food for their tribe. Teens are bombarded with constant threats Continue »

Intruder (Unrated Director’s Cut) May 29th, 2006

Intruder
Directed by: Scott Spiegel
Also Known As:
Night Crew (USA) (working title)
Night Crew: The Final Checkout (USA) (video title)
Runtime: 83 min / 88 min (director’s cut)
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color (DeLuxe)
Certification: West Germany:18 (heavily cut) / Australia:R / UK:18 / USA:R

Buy it now at amazon.com!

“Anal itch got you down?”

I’ve always heard about this little flick from Scott Spiegel & Lawrence Bender, but have never been able to find it anywhere…one of the many problems of living in the very definition of “Rural Location.” So when I saw the director’s cut was available at the local video store, I snatched it like a klepto on speed. To make things even better, I wasn’t even the slightest bit let down. In fact my expectations were exceeded on nearly every level! Continue »

Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (Special Edition DVD) May 28th, 2006

Lost Skeleton
Directed by Larry Blamire
MPAA: Rated PG for brief mild language.
Runtime: 90 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Black and White / Color
Sound Mix: Mono
Certification: USA:PG / Canada:G (Quebec) / Canada:PG (Ontario) / Singapore:PG

Buy it now on amazon.com!

We can all agree that there are several common makings of a great b-movie experience that will more than likely include the following: poor or seemingly first-time performances, special effects that give themselves away instantly, a plot that is full of random occurrences that barely manage to push along the simplistic story, and, of course, a fantastical title and subject matter. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra manages to do take each of these elements and amp them up to their limits to create a wonderfully enjoyable farce. However, take note that the writer and director, Larry Blamire, is not making light of these classic horror and sci-fi movies from the 50s and 60s. Continue »

Terror Toons May 28th, 2006

Terror Toons
Directed by: Joe Castro
MPAA: Rated R for violence/gore and some nudity.
Runtime: 75 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: UK:18 / USA:R

Buy it now at amazon.com!

Three letters can explain my thoughts on this movie: WTF?!?

No seriously. Let’s examine this little flick from director Joe Castro. Things kick off with a rather hilarious introduction by some leather-and-stud-clad punk rocker. I have to admit, this terrible little intro had me pumped up for what was to come. As soon as the actual movie began my jaw was on the floor. The so called “special-effects” in the opening scene contain some of the worst blue-screen and After-Effects filters I’ve ever seen! Needless to say, I was excited.

The movie gets right to the gore, with Dr. Carnage mutiliating what looks to be either Tweedledee or Tweedledum. Not sure which. We are then presented with the most cliche of horror scenarios: Two sisters are left home alone while their parents leave town. I have to give the guys that made this movie mad props, the mom is actually played Continue »