Director: Charles Band
Studio: Wizard Full Moon
Runtime: 80 min
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
Country: USA
Certification: Unrated

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From prolific horror director Charles Band, comes the tale of yet another creepy gaggle of B-monic dolls. Dangerous Worry Dolls is an entertaining look at what can happen when you don’t take voodoo seriously. It’s a cheap flick with below average acting, some slow parts, some gory parts, and some gratuitous nudity. In other words, it fits the bill of “B-movie” almost perfectly.

The story follows a girl named Eva who has, until now, lead a less than savory life and has therefore ended up in the clink. She has to deal with constant assault by her fellow attractive inmates and the seemingly independent staff who fully exploit the power they have over the girls, from the Warden on down.

Eva has a young daughter on the outside who is the reason she is doing her best to play by the rules and ensure she’s released from this hell-hole as quickly as possible. Her bunk-mates aren’t making this easy, and neither is Carl, the creepy guard who has some dirty little secrets going on down in the boiler room. And when I say “dirty”, I mean he repeatedly rapes the inmates and films it with maniacal glee. Yeah… pretty messed up.

Eva receives a small box containing several tiny Worry Dolls which hold the promise of curing all of her problems if she simply requests their help. But, she doesn’t and the movie ends shortly afterwards.

I had you for a second, huh? Of course Eva prays that they take away her worries, they crawl inside her head (literally), and like a crazy micro-skeleton/human symbiot, she proceeds to kick serious prison ass throughout the remainder of the movie.

Dangerous Worry Dolls doesn’t have a lot to offer, and isn’t terribly entertaining, but it’s definitely not without it’s moments. The disturbed character of Carl is very memorable, and the visual of a tiny screeching skeleton face emerging from the forehead of a beautiful woman with blazing red eyes will stick with me for years to come. But, pound for pound, there is definitely some better entertainment out there in B-land.

As there isn’t an abundance of action, the movie hinges on it’s script, and it does have some very funny dialogue. I’ll leave you with one of the better lines in the film.

Warden: “I’m surprised you can string two words together.”

Eva: “Fuck you. How’s that for two words?”

WARDEN: Everything you hated about your HS principal.
MICRO SKULL: Emerging from a regular skull… weird.
DISPOSALS: They dispose of unwanted fingers too.

What's on your brains?

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