Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus


Director: Jack Perez
Written by: also Jack Perez
Runtime: 90 mins
Country: USA
Language: English
Certification: USA:R
Production Company: The Asylum

Watch it now on Netflix Streaming!


Another exploitation film from The Asylum, the studio that has brought us dozens of pop-culture rip-offs including Transmorphers (breview coming soon), The Terminators, and The Day Earth Stopped, MS vs GO is a fairly worthy entry into the giant-monster flick genre. Unfortunately, the movie as a whole obviously can’t cash the checks written by the box art.

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Party Girl

PartyGirl
Directed By: Jayson Densman
Written By: Dustin LaValley
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Tagline: It’s her party….. she’ll kill if she wants to.

Buy it at Raw Dog Screaming Press


Back in 2008 Raw Dog Screaming Press published a collection of short stories called “Lowlife Underdogs” by writer/martial artist/all around badass Dustin LaValley. One of the stories in that collection is “Party Girl.” The story is a creatively written, stark, disturbing work of art that reads like a hybrid between an actual police report and lyrics by Cannibal Corpse. It’s creatively gritty, grim and ripe with all sorts of potential to be adapted to a short film. Apparently director Jayson Densman saw the same potential, and thus gave birth to his own mangled version of “Party Girl.” Read the rest of this entry »

Worm

Worm
Directed By: Richard Powell
Produced By: Zach Green
Country: Canada
Language: English
Color: Color

www.fatalpictures.com


In a flooded market of direct to dvd horror, CG blood and mainstream zombie mania it is becoming harder by the minute to find a film of genuine quality. Luckily, a needle fell out of a haystack right in front of me. Shining white and glowing like an angel. Or more appropriately, black and festering like a case of Ebola.

“Worm” is a short film from fledgling film house Fatal Pictures. However, this isn’t another YouTube quality attempt to be “edgy” by some drunken college kids with a camera phone. No, once the opening shot of “Worm” graces the screen any worries of poor production quality are quickly diminished, and things never go downhill. Read the rest of this entry »

20 Years After (AKA Like Moles Like Rats)

20 years later
Director: Jim Torres
Co-written by: Ron Harris
Runtime: 95 mins
Country: USA
Language: English
Certification: USA:R

Buy it now at amazon.com!


Although this movie isn’t want we want to review on this website (found here!), I feel I must give it some attention for those who may be online, quickly searching for a review or two before they pick it up off the store shelves. Plus.. you know… I watched the thing the under the same false B-tenses that you might also easily succumb to.

So let’s get right to it; 20 Years After is NOT what you expect. Whoever distributed this film (I suppose it’s MTI Home Video) has done the same as 99% of the companies out there who are in their position Read the rest of this entry »

Ice Spiders

IceSpiders
Director: Tibor Tak√°cs
Language: English
Studio: Sony Pictures
Runtime: 86 min
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Certification: R

Buy it never on amazon.com!


A group of “Olympic” skiers are taken to a remote ski lodge by their coach in the hopes that being cut off from a wireless signal, those internets, and friends and family back home will force them to keep their minds on the slopes. However, none of them could guess that there is a military base nearby performing experiments on giant spiders, and that those spiders are now running amuck across the frozen landscape. Oh yeah, you smell that? We got ourselves a B movie!

Ice Spiders starts off with an ample amount of promise. The title alone is spectacular, and although “giant spiders” has been done, the setting and ideas are fairly unique. Also, when we’re introduced to our first sequence involving Rocky and Bob, two overeager hunters who run into Read the rest of this entry »

Dangerous Worry Dolls

Dangerous Worry Dolls
Director: Charles Band
Studio: Wizard Full Moon
Runtime: 80 min
Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1
Country: USA
Certification: Unrated

Buy it now on amazon.com!


From prolific horror director Charles Band, comes the tale of yet another creepy gaggle of B-monic dolls. Dangerous Worry Dolls is an entertaining look at what can happen when you don’t take voodoo seriously. It’s a cheap flick with below average acting, some slow parts, some gory parts, and some gratuitous nudity. In other words, it fits the bill of “B-movie” almost perfectly.

The story follows a girl named Eva who has, until now, lead a less than savory life and has therefore ended up in the clink. She has to deal with constant assault by her fellow attractive inmates and the seemingly independent staff who fully exploit the power they have over the girls, from the Warden on down. Read the rest of this entry »

Karate Cop (AKA Omega Cop II)

Karate Cop
Director: Alan Roberts
Runtime: 91 min
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: USA:R

Buy it on amazon.com now!


Karate Cop
is the most unlikely of sequels. One of the most blatantly bland excuses for an action move I’d ever seen somehow produces a semi-hilarious B action flick that I am extremely glad to have in my library? I would never have guessed.

The last cop on Earth, John Travis, is back for another go-round as an unlucky hero who clings to his former career, even though the rest of the planet has fallen to pieces and has become a world where only the strong survive. The young and the weak are prayed upon by thugs and gangsters, bent on controlling what’s left of the planet, and having as much sadistic fun as they can in the process. After an hilariously heroic introduction, Travis is tasked with protecting several dozen children, the last in a cityscape filled with dangerous Read the rest of this entry »

Hallowed Ground

hallowedground
Director: David Benullo
Runtime: 83 min
Language: English
Color: Color
Format: 1.85:1
Sound Mix: Dolby Digital 5.1
Certification: USA:NR

Buy it now on amazon.com!


Genius Products, the guys who helped bring us Quentin Tarantino’s Deathproof, had a hand in producing this very finished, but incredibly bland, direct-to dvd supernatural horror/thriller. I pulled HG off of the shelf based solely upon the tagline on the box, “You can’t bury terror.” I don’t know if they have a Pulitzer offshoot category for ‘most amazingly nonsensical quote that somehow does it’s job in getting people to rent a movie’, but whoever managed to force that nugget from the right side of their brain should take it home for 2007.

Hallowed Ground takes place in a tiny rural town that is somehow fully functional and yet consists of less than 30 people. Our heroin, Liz, played by Jaimie Alexander, Read the rest of this entry »

Hammerhead

Hammerhead
Directed By: Michael Oblowitz
Release Date: 18 June 2005 (USA)
Tagline: Half Man. Half Shark. Total Terror
Also Known As: Hammerhead (USA) (DVD box title), SharkMan (International: English title)
MPAA: Rated R for violence.
Runtime: 92 min / Germany:88 min (DVD version)
Country: Aruba / USA
Language: English
Color: Color
Certification: Germany:18 / Netherlands:16 / USA:R

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Sharks have always held a special place in my heart. In fact, I have a vivid memory of the very first picture I ever drew that I was happy with: A wholesome little crayon piece detailing a shark sinking its teeth into a helpless recreational swimmer. At that moment I knew I wanted to be an artist. Read the rest of this entry »

Bottom Feeder

Bottom Feeder
Directed By: Randy Daudlin
Tagline: Hunger Pains have a whole new meaning….
Country: Canada
Language: English
Color: Color

Buy it now at Amazon.com!

Sometimes I wish I could take a movie, chop out the excess fat, burn my own version, erase the entire experience from memory and watch it all over again. Such is the case with Randy Daudlin’s monster flick Bottom Feeder.

This almost-good creature feature begins with the story of a famous geneticist hired by a billionaire burn victim to develop a serum to regenerate dying cells. The geneticist ends up producing more theories than results, and gets an overdose of his own medicine forced into his jugular. He is thrown into the cellar of an old hospital and left to survive off nothing but rats. The side effects of his overdose make him acquire the genetic traits of his food and he begins mutating into a rather lame and not very scary looking Rat-Man. Read the rest of this entry »

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